The Firstborn: Born First To Be First


Is my firstborn a leader? Yeah, kind of. I always add – They do it because they get hands-on practice by bossing around their siblings. 

I am a mum of two girls and there are many times during my parenting journey, I have wondered – How can two children of the same family be so different? The girls are born to the same parents, same family values, and almost a similar set of rules (well, hmm, maybe there are alterations here and there), but the ground rules are the same. I am not a research-oriented mum. I don’t bother to run through the factual values scientific experiments state. But many times, the numbers on the charts are convincing. And living in an influencing world it is easy to see changes not only in the way you parent but also it shows evident changes with the kids, health, and environment. 

Today I bring to you a few fun facts I have been able to relate to and possibly right on the science charts as well. Come along with me to read what science has to say:

  • The Treasured Over-Achiever: The treasured firstborn lives a pressured life. According to Research Gate, the birth order does affect parental behavior. Firstborn is an object of delight for the family. They enjoy privileges, attention, pampering, etc., I am a firstborn as well. I have experienced privilege quite a several times. Being a firstborn not only gets you up on the “cute face gets your wish fulfilled” list but also you live an under spotlight life. There are oodles of attention from parents, family, and friends. 

And with the attention comes huge responsibility. The responsibility of proving yourself an achiever every time. The responsibility of living up to everyone’s expectations. Research Gate also states that the firstborn is always equated to an overachiever, a meticulous person whereas the siblings show an easy-going and relaxed attitude. 

  • The Rule Maker: Being born in an authoritative position, the firstborn influences the “Rules of the House”. Now how many of us plan for 7 pm bedtime on weekends, only to make sure the school time routine is in place? Why does the younger one with a flexible structure also has to follow the strict routine on weekends? Haha! Take it or give it, the family does follow the rule chart of the firstborn.
  • The Brains: I am cannot vouch for it, but it is told that the firstborns are the intellects of the family. In an article from PNASit is told that the birth order does seem to have an impact on the intelligence of an individual.  

Well, that was a limited thought representation of my experience with my firstborn, me as a firstborn, and a bit of research data. To finish all that I would say is Effective parenting is to work along with our children and follow what goes with them rather than eyeing the “one size fits all” concept. Firstborns do give us the initial experience of being around infants to toddlers to a preschooler and up, they do help us with adapting our parenting techniques (it is ok the frame rules around them right!) but they also do own their personalities which may not be from science. It’s ok to lean towards the lines that “firstborns are leaders, the middle-born are rebels and the youngest are the spoilt babies” but not put ourselves into the box. Let us not forget they are all confident and stand up in their way. At least, this is what we hear from the universe. But do you think it is true? Let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear.

Until next time,

Create memories, not moments

Anjum XoXo

Links From The Article

  2. (PDF) Birth Order Effects on Personality and Achievement Within Families (

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